20 MILLIONAIRE RULES I WISH I KNEW IN MY TWENTIES | PART 3
POINT 11 | DON'T SHRINK YOURSELF TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE FEEL COMFORTABLE.
- If you want to live an extraordinary life you have to be extra.
Matthew 5:14-16 (MSG)
"Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven."
POINT 12 | FEAR WILL ALWAYS GIVE BAD ADVICE
- The probability of the bad thing being true is as likely as the opposite.
- What needs to be true for me to move forward without fear?
2 Timothy 1:7 (AMP)
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].
1 John 4:18 (NIV)
There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. The one who fears has not been perfected in love.
Mark Twain famously noted, "I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened".
Here is a breakdown of the psychology and reality behind this saying:
1. The Statistical Reality: Fears Rarely Materialize
Research indicates that a vast majority of the things we worry about never actually happen.
- 85%–90% Unfounded: Studies suggest that roughly 85% to over 90% of the things people worry about never happen.
- The 10% Reality: For the small percentage of worries that do come true, most people report handling them better than they imagined, or learning something important from the experience.
- Anxiety is Not Prophecy: Anxiety stems from imagined, worst-case scenarios, not from predicting the future.
2. Why It Feels Like They Happen (Self-Fulfilling Prophecy)
When people say, "the things I feared happened," they are often referring to a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you fear failure, for example, your anxiety might cause you to procrastinate, second-guess yourself, or avoid taking necessary risks, which in turn leads to the failure you feared.
- Behavioral Change: If you fear something, you may subconsciously alter your actions to align with that fear.
- Confirmation Bias: We tend to remember the 10% of times our fears came true and ignore the 90% of times they did not.
3. The Danger of "Wasteful" Worry
Worrying is described as paying a debt you don't owe. It causes unnecessary suffering before an event happens—and frequently that event never happens at all.
- Physical Cost: Anxiety activates the body's fear system (cortisol, adrenaline) just as much for imagined threats as for real ones.
- Mental Drain: Worrying drains energy that could be used for proactive problem-solving.
4. The Stoic Perspective
Philosophers like Seneca and Marcus Aurelius argued that we suffer more in imagination than in reality.
- Control the Controllable: Focus on what you can control right now rather than worrying about future, unknown scenarios.
- Presence: Staying in the present moment reduces the power of future-based fears.
Conclusion: The things you waste your time fearing usually do not happen. Anxiety makes them feel inevitable, but evidence suggests they are mostly illusions that fade upon closer examination.
POINT 13 | EXHAUST THE BODY, TAME THE MIND
- The more my body goes through stress, it strengthens my mind. Learn delayed gratification and build consistency.
1 Corinthians 9:27 (AMP)
But [like a boxer] I strictly discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached [the gospel] to others, I myself will not somehow be disqualified [as unfit for service].
POINT 14 | NOT EVERYONE WILL BE HAPPY FOR YOUR SUCCESS, AND THAT'S OK.
- Stay close to the people who want more for you than from you.
1 Samuel 23:16-17 (AMP)
16 And Jonathan, Saul's son, arose and went [into the woods] to David at Horesh, and encouraged him in God. 17 He said to him, "Do not be afraid; the hand of my father Saul will not find you. You will be king over Israel and I will be second in command to you; my father Saul knows this too."
POINT 15 | CONSISTENCY CAN FIX 90% OF YOUR PROBLEMS.
- If you can't be consistent, how can you do big things?
- Can you commit to the "boring" work for 1,000 days straight? If so, you'll be unrecognizable at the other end.
Galatians 6:9 (AMP)
Let us not grow weary or become discouraged in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap, if we do not give in.
Keys to Leveling Up:
- Deliberate Practice: This isn't just repetition; it's practicing with specific goals, getting immediate feedback, and constantly working on weaknesses.
- The 20-Hour Rule: For basic proficiency, Josh Kaufman suggests about 20 hours of focused practice can get you started on learning almost anything.
- The 1,000-Hour Rule: Achieving a high level (top 1%) in a skill might take around 1,000 hours of focused effort.
- The 10,000-Hour Rule: Aimed at world-class mastery, this concept, from Gladwell's Outliers, highlights the need for intense, focused practice, like the Beatles playing countless hours in Hamburg.