The Lost Ones - Part 8 | Charge It to Me
This week the New York Knicks won the NBA title. The MVP was Jalen Brunson, and in the final game he scored 45 points. But what you may not know about him - he also led the league in charges taken.
Charge it to me.
In basketball, taking a charge means laying down your body to defend your position. It means taking one for the team - the act of someone willingly making a sacrifice for the benefit of others.
In this story, we are going to see Paul asking Philemon to do exactly that: take one for the team.
Philemon's Character Is Tested
This passage puts Philemon's character to the test - and it's worth noting that character is never really revealed in comfort. It shows up in challenge.
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Remember - we don't just represent ourselves. We represent our families. And more importantly, we represent our God.
Faith and Love Go Hand in Hand
I always thank my God when I pray for you, Philemon, because I keep hearing about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all of God's people.
- Philemon 1:4-5 (NLT)
When people hear about you, what do they hear? Do they hear about your faith? Your love for God's people?
Notice that Paul pairs faith and love together. You cannot have one without the other.
For [if we are] in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything, but only faith activated and expressed and working through love.
- Galatians 5:6 (AMP)
Faith is activated by love. Faith is not really faith until it moves your feet.
Faith That Works
And I am praying that you will put into action the generosity that comes from your faith as you understand and experience all the good things we have in Christ.
- Philemon 1:6 (NLT)
Faith is not faith until it's put to work.
But are you willing to recognize, you foolish [spiritually shallow] person, that faith without [good] works is useless?
- James 2:20 (AMP)
You're not truly in faith until there is a corresponding action. And here's what that action looks like: generosity. Faith should make you more generous - more ready to give more than is expected. Faith should make you more loving.
Your love has given me much joy and comfort, my brother, for your kindness has often refreshed the hearts of God's people.
- Philemon 1:7 (NLT)
How I love others is a reflection of how I love God.
By this everyone will know that you are My disciples if you have love and unselfish concern for one another.
- John 13:35 (AMP)
Paul Makes His Appeal
Now Paul intercedes for a man named Onesimus.
That is why I am boldly asking a favor of you. I could demand it in the name of Christ because it is the right thing for you to do. But because of our love, I prefer simply to ask you. Consider this as a request from me - Paul, an old man and now also a prisoner for the sake of Christ Jesus.
- Philemon 1:8-9 (NLT)
Notice - love makes a demand on us. But Paul doesn't lead with the demand. He leads with love.
I appeal to you to show kindness to my child, Onesimus. I became his father in the faith while here in prison.
- Philemon 1:10 (NLT)
Pay attention to Paul's strategy here: he didn't bring up Onesimus until after he had already spoken to Philemon about love and kindness. He wasn't appealing to obligation. He was appealing to the Christ in Philemon. He was appealing to Philemon's faith.
Onesimus was a runaway slave - he had belonged to Philemon, fled, and then encountered Paul in Rome, where he gave his life to Christ. Now Paul is asking Philemon to receive him back.
Has anybody ever appealed to you to forgive someone? How did you respond?
What Is Forgiveness?
Dr. Archibald Hart defines forgiveness this way:
"Surrendering my right to hurt you for hurting me."
Forgiveness is both an act and a process. It can be compared to canceling a debt.
We must forgive again to live again.
God cannot elevate you higher than your ability to release and forgive others.
Onesimus Has Changed
Onesimus hasn't been of much use to you in the past, but now he is very useful to both of us.
- Philemon 1:11 (NLT)
Paul is saying plainly: this man has changed. And Scripture backs that up.
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
- 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)
At times we can't let go of the past and see people for who they have become versus who they were. That's the challenge Paul is placing before Philemon - and before us.
Charge It to Me
I am sending him back to you, and with him comes my own heart.
- Philemon 1:12 (NLT)
I wanted to keep him here with me while I am in these chains for preaching the Good News, and he would have helped me on your behalf. But I didn't want to do anything without your consent. I wanted you to help because you were willing, not because you were forced. It seems you lost Onesimus for a little while so that you could have him back forever.
- Philemon 1:13-15 (NLT)
Paul is saying: what felt like a loss was part of God's plan all along.
He is no longer like a slave to you. He is more than a slave, for he is a beloved brother, especially to me. Now he will mean much more to you, both as a man and as a brother in the Lord.
- Philemon 1:16 (NLT)
As Dr. King said, love is the only force that can turn an enemy into a friend. Paul is asking Philemon to look at Onesimus through different eyes - the eyes of the Kingdom.
Then comes the most powerful line in the entire letter:
So if you consider me your partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. If he has wronged you in any way or owes you anything, charge it to me.
- Philemon 1:17-18 (NLT)
Charge it to me.
- If they have hurt you - charge it to my account.
- If they have abused you - charge it to my account.
- If they have abandoned you - charge it to my account.
- If they have lied to you - charge it to my account.
That is what Paul said to Philemon. And that is what Jesus said on the cross.
And Jesus was saying, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing."
- Luke 23:34 (AMP)
Jesus took the charge. He paid what we owed. And because of that, we have the power - and the responsibility - to extend that same grace to others.
All things work together for the good. (Romans 8:28)
A Father's Lesson from Philemon
The relationship between Paul, Philemon, and Onesimus carries powerful lessons for anyone in a position of leadership or fatherhood. Like Paul, we are called to:
- Lead those in our care to Christ
- See their potential, not just their past
- Teach accountability with grace
- Be peacemakers
- Extend grace freely
- Sacrifice for the growth of others
- Build bridges between broken relationships
- Believe in redemption - for others and for ourselves
A father at his best helps others become who God created them to be - just as Paul helped Onesimus become far more than anyone expected.
Discussion Questions
- Paul praised Philemon's faith and love before making his difficult request. What does it reveal about your own character when someone you love does something that is hard to forgive? How does your response reflect the way you love God?
- Forgiveness has been described as "surrendering my right to hurt you for hurting me." Is there someone in your life toward whom you are still holding that right? What would it look like - practically - to cancel that debt this week?
- Paul asked Philemon to see Onesimus through new eyes - as a brother, not a runaway slave. Who in your life might you be seeing through the lens of who they were rather than who they are becoming in Christ? What would it take to change that perspective?
- Paul said, "Charge it to me" - taking on Onesimus's debt so the relationship could be restored. When have you seen someone "take the charge" in a relationship or situation on your behalf? What did that cost them, and how did it change you?
- The sermon connected Paul's intercession to Jesus saying, "Father, forgive them." Because Christ took the charge for us, we are called to extend that same grace to others. Where in your life is forgiveness the next step of faith - and what is one action you can take this week to begin that process?