Quality Time

Quality Time in Marriage

Deuteronomy 24:5 (NLT) "A newly married man must not be drafted into the army or be given any other official responsibilities. He must be free to spend one year at home, bringing happiness to the wife he has married.

Lord no, I never saw that in the Bible

A. We see here the priority of marriage

B. We see the critical beginning of the marriage

C. We see here the army/government/responsibility had to

D. become 2nd place

E. We see 1 year set aside for connecting

F. We see the responsibility of making his bride happy

Here the challenge friends, how do you define quality time?

WOMEN:

Women often define quality time as undivided attention, meaningful connection, and shared experiences. However, this can vary based on personality, love languages, and personal preferences. Here are some common ways women may define quality time:

1. Undivided Attention – Being fully present without distractions (no phones, TV, or multitasking).
2. Deep Conversations – Engaging in meaningful discussions about feelings, goals, and life.
3. Shared Experiences – Doing activities together, whether it's a date night, cooking, traveling, or a hobby.
4. Acts of Service Together – Working together on a project, serving others, or even running errands as a team.
5. Emotional Connection – Feeling heard, valued, and understood in the time spent together.
6. Physical Closeness – Holding hands, cuddling, or just being near each other in a way that fosters connection.

MEN:

Men often define quality time as shared activities, companionship, and presence rather than just conversation. While every man is different, here are some common themes:

1. Doing Activities Together – Bonding through shared interests like sports, hobbies, or projects.
2. Companionship Without Pressure – Simply being together, even in silence, like watching a movie or sitting side by side.
3. Support and Respect – Feeling appreciated, heard, and valued without needing deep emotional conversations all the time.
4. Physical Presence – Just being around each other, whether working on something or relaxing.
5. Having Fun Together – Laughing, joking, and enjoying moments of playfulness or adventure.
6. Teamwork and Collaboration – Tackling challenges together, whether it's a home project or solving problems as a couple.

Let me talk to singles and married couples

1 Corinthians 7:33-35 (MSG) 32-35 I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you're unmarried, you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I'm trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.

• Our wife is a reward

Ecclesiastes 9:9 (NLT) Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.

We have to maximize our time without spouses

Ephesians 5:15-16 (AMP) 15 Therefore see that you walk carefully [living life with honor, purpose, and courage; shunning those who tolerate and enable evil], not as the unwise, but as wise [sensible, intelligent, discerning people], 16 making the very most of your time [on earth, recognizing and taking advantage of each opportunity and using it with wisdom and diligence], because the days are [filled with] evil.

Discussion Questions

1. Deuteronomy 24:5 commanded newlyweds to have a full year together without other responsibilities. While this isn't practical today, what does this teach us about God's priority for marriage? How can we apply this principle?
2. The passage says the husband's responsibility was "bringing happiness to the wife he has married." How does this challenge cultural ideas that personal happiness is each person's individual responsibility?
3. Women often define quality time as "undivided attention" while men define it as "doing activities together." How can couples bridge this gap to meet both needs?
4. Looking at the list of how women define quality time, which is most important to you (or your wife)? Which is most neglected in your relationship?
5. Looking at the list of how men define quality time, which is most important to you (or your husband)? How can women better understand that "companionship without pressure" is meaningful?
6. The notes mention that quality time for women often involves "deep conversations about feelings, goals, and life," while men may prefer "companionship without pressure." How can couples schedule time for both kinds of connection?
7. 1 Corinthians 7:33-35 acknowledges that "marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life." What distractions steal quality time from your marriage? How can you eliminate or minimize them?
8. Ecclesiastes 9:9 calls your spouse "your reward for all your earthly toil." Do you treat your spouse as a reward or as another item on your to-do list? How can you shift your perspective?
9. Ephesians 5:15-16 instructs us to make "the very most of your time...because the days are filled with evil." How does recognizing that time is limited change the way you prioritize time with your spouse?
10. For singles: How can you maximize your undistracted time with God now, recognizing that marriage will bring additional responsibilities? For married couples: How can you "spend plenty of time together with the Master" as a couple without letting it become another source of distraction?

Bonus Discussion

Challenge: Based on what you've learned about how your spouse defines quality time, plan one intentional quality time activity this week that specifically meets their needs (not just yours).

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