God's Blueprint for Relationships

Rules of Engagement Part 2

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT: Rules of engagement are procedures that are put in place so that everyone knows what is expected and can work best together as a team.

Understanding the difference between the Man and the Woman

WE STARTED OFF EQUAL

Genesis 1:27 (AMP) So God created man in His own image, in the image and likeness of God He created him; male and female He created them.

AFTER THE FALL AS A CONSEQUENCE OF SIN

Genesis 3:16 (NLT) Then he said to the woman, "I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you."

Genesis 3:17-19 (MSG) 17-19 He told the Man: "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree That I commanded you not to eat from, 'Don't eat from this tree,' The very ground is cursed because of you; getting food from the ground Will be as painful as having babies is for your wife; you'll be working in pain all your life long. The ground will sprout thorns and weeds, you'll get your food the hard way,

Review: Core Differences

1. A MAN WAS BUILT FOR WORK AND FINDS HIS IDENTITY AND PURPOSE THROUGH WORK

Genesis 2:15 (MSG) 15 God took the Man and set him down in the Garden of Eden to work the ground and keep it in order.

2. A WOMAN WAS BUILT FOR RELATIONSHIP, WHICH COMES NATURAL TO HER

Genesis 2:18 (AMP) 18 Now the Lord God said, "It is not good (beneficial) for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper [one who balances him—a counterpart who is] suitable and complementary for him."

3. SHE WAS MADE TO BENEFIT HIM AND NOT FOR HIM TO BENEFIT HER – HE NEEDS HELP

1 Corinthians 11:8-9 (AMP) 8 For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; 9 for indeed man was not created for the sake of woman, but woman for the sake of man.

4. HE WAS CREATED AND SHE WAS FORMED

21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and while he slept, He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. 22 And the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man He made (fashioned, formed) into a woman, and He brought her and presented her to the man

5. A WOMAN IS LOOKING FOR CONVERSATION WHILE MAN IS SEEKING ISOLATION – SHE IS RECHARGED

6. A MAN IS LOOKING TO MATE AND A WOMAN IS LOOKING FOR A MATE

7. MEN ARE MOVED BY RESPECT AND ADMIRATION A WOMAN IS MOVED BY ENGAGEMENT AND INTERACTION

Ephesians 5:33 (AMP) However, each man among you [without exception] is to love his wife as his very own self [with behavior worthy of respect and esteem, always seeking the best for her with an attitude of lovingkindness], and the wife [must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband [that she notices him and prefers him and treats him with loving concern, treasuring him, honoring him, and holding him dear].

8. IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A LIFE PARTNER, YOU NEED TO HAVE A LIFE

PROVERBS 31 (AMP)

9. YOUR ENTRANCE INTO HIS LIFE SHOULD MOVE HIM INTO HIS KINGSHIP, BECAUSE A WOMAN IS A CARRIER OF FAVOR

Proverbs 18:22 (AMP) 22 He who finds a [true and faithful] wife finds a good thing And obtains favor and approval from the Lord.

NEW MATERIAL

1. MEN AND WOMEN THINK DIFFERENTLY

• It's interesting that as babies develop in the womb, the male and female brain develops differently. Research scientists have discovered that men average 4% more brain cells than women, and about 100 grams more brain tissue. So quite literally, a man's brain is just bigger than a woman's brain!

• However, these scientists have also discovered that women have more dendritic connection between brain cells, meaning they use their brain cells more efficiently and effectively than men do. Their brains also have a larger corpus callosum, which allows for a faster transfer of data between the right and left hemispheres than men's brains. Therefore, a woman's brain just works better than a man's brain!

• Somewhere between 18 and 26 weeks into pregnancy, a male baby's testosterone kicks into gear and causes the nerve fibers in the brain connecting the right and left hemispheres to start disintegrating, making it very challenging for the two sides of the brain to "talk" to one another.

• It only proves what every woman knows...men have brain damage!

• When you go home, tell, I''m sorry baby now I know why you have some our your challenges, we are just built different

2. MEN ARE BETTER "SYSTEMIZERS," AND WOMEN ARE BETTER "EMPATHIZERS"

• We see this problem arise in relationships all the time: a woman presents a problem to a man. He analyzes it, gives a solution, and thinks the conversation is over. He believes he has done his part by showing an interest in what has been troubling his wife, and providing a solution.

• But it's also why the solution is not "good enough" for the woman. Usually, she wasn't looking for a solution, she was looking for an empathetic discussion, a connection.

3. MEN DON'T SEE AS CLEARLY AS WOMEN

• It's not green, it's teal!

Women are not exaggerating here. The truth of the matter is, they have a greater variety of color receptors in the retinas of the eyes than men do. Women don't just see color, they see in full-spectrum, technicolor!

• Honey, where's the salt?

When men can't find something in the cupboard, they are not trying to be difficult. A man's brain configures his eyes to act like a pair of binoculars, looking mostly straight ahead, and only seeing what's right in front of his eyes. Women have much wider peripheral visual perception than men do. A woman's vision scans, and sees virtually everything, easily finding and producing the hidden item.

4. WOMEN ARE FANTASTIC AT MULTITASKING. MEN... NOT SO MUCH.

• This generalized truth about men is due to a man's brain being "compartmentalized," because of the separation of the two hemispheres. In fact, if you were to scan a man's brain while he is reading, you'd find he is virtually deaf.

• A man has been wired from the womb to be able to tune everything else out when he is focused on something. Ladies, it's not because he's ignoring you!

5. MEN AND WOMEN COMMUNICATE DIFFERENTLY

A. Men Like to Talk Things Out in Their Heads. -Isolation

B. Women Just Like to Talk Things Out.-Conversation

6. A MAN'S COMMUNICATION IS GENERALLY CONFINED TO HIS WORDS; A WOMAN COMMUNICATES THROUGH BOTH VERBAL AND NON-VERBAL MEANS

• Sounds like the struggle between men and women. Do these jeans make me look fat?

7. MEN AND WOMEN WANT DIFFERENT THINGS

• Many research scientists have set out to discover what it is that men and women really want, but God has revealed it to us in His word:

• Men want Respect

Ephesians 5:33 (NLT) 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

8. CARRIERS VS RELEASERS

9. A WOMAN MARRIES A MAN HOPING HE WILL CHANGE, A MAN MARRIES A WOMAN HOPING SHE WILL NOT CHANGE

10. WOMEN COMPARE THEMSELVES TO THE BEST, MEN COMPARE THEMSELVES TO THE WORST, WHETHER A SCHOOL OR HOUSE

11. THE AVERAGE MAN RESPECTS YOU UNTIL YOU START DISRESPECTING YOURSELF

12. CASUAL SEX LEADS TO CASUALTIES, GOD DESIGNED YOU FOR ONE

• My are transactional, woman are relational - Body Count

Discussion Questions

1. The notes explain that men's and women's brains are literally wired differently from the womb. How does understanding these biological differences help us show grace and patience in our relationships?
2. Men are described as "systemizers" while women are "empathizers." How can couples bridge this gap when a woman shares a problem—when should a man offer solutions versus simply listening?
3. Women can see more colors and have better peripheral vision than men. How might these physical differences explain common household frustrations, and how can couples use humor and understanding to navigate them?
4. The message states that men's brains are "compartmentalized" making multitasking difficult. How should women approach communication when their husband is focused on a task?
5. Men process internally (isolation) while women process externally (conversation). How can couples create space for both of these needs without one person feeling neglected or overwhelmed?
6. Ephesians 5:33 commands wives to respect their husbands. Why is respect so critical to a man's well-being? What does biblical respect look like in practical, everyday situations?
7. The principle "a woman marries a man hoping he will change, a man marries a woman hoping she will not change" often leads to disappointment. How can couples accept each other as-is while still growing together?
8. What does it mean that "the average man respects you until you start disrespecting yourself"? How does self-respect impact how others treat us, especially in dating relationships?
9. The statement "casual sex leads to casualties" goes against modern culture. What are the emotional, spiritual, and relational casualties that result from sex outside of God's design?
10. Understanding that men communicate primarily through words while women communicate through both verbal and non-verbal means, how can husbands become more aware of what their wives are really saying beyond just the words?

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