Understanding Men and Women

Rules of Engagement

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT: Rules of engagement are procedures that are put in place so that everyone knows what is expected and can work best together as a team.

Understanding the difference between the Man and the Woman

WE STARTED OFF EQUAL

Genesis 1:27 (AMP) So God created man in His own image, in the image and likeness of God He created him; male and female He created them.

Matthew 19:4 (NLT) "Haven't you read the Scriptures?" Jesus replied. "They record that from the beginning 'God made them male and female.'"

• We are living the reality of now

AFTER THE FALL AS A CONSEQUENCE OF SIN

Genesis 3:16 (NLT) Then he said to the woman, "I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you."

1. A MAN WAS BUILT FOR WORK AND FINDS HIS IDENTITY AND PURPOSE THROUGH WORK

• Elon Musk -divorced • Bill Gates -divorced • Jeff Bezos-divorced • Larry Ellison-Divorce • Warren Buffet-divorced

Genesis 2:7-8 (AMP) 7 then the Lord God formed [that is, created the body of] man from the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and the man became a living being [an individual complete in body and spirit]. 8 And the Lord God planted a garden (oasis) in the east, in Eden (delight, land of happiness); and He put the man whom He had formed (created) there.

Genesis 2:15 (MSG) 15 God took the Man and set him down in the Garden of Eden to work the ground and keep it in order.

2 Thessalonians 3:10-13 (MSG) 10-13 Don't you remember the rule we had when we lived with you? "If you don't work, you don't eat."

• Don't try to compete with his work, but try to make his work easier • If can show him how you will help him with his life, you have better chance of becoming his wife

2. A WOMAN WAS BUILT FOR RELATIONSHIP, WHICH COMES NATURAL TO HER

Genesis 2:18 (AMP) 18 Now the Lord God said, "It is not good (beneficial) for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper [one who balances him—a counterpart who is] suitable and complementary for him."

• God was the one who said he needed help, he was content being alone, he never asked for a wife

3. SHE WAS MADE TO BENEFIT HIM AND NOT FOR HIM TO BENEFIT HER

Genesis 2:19-20 (AMP) 19 So the Lord God formed out of the ground every animal of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. 20 And the man gave names to all the livestock, and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field; but for Adam there was not found a helper [that was] suitable (a companion) for him.

• He needs help... • The book and gives you the best chance for marriage

Help mate implies help is needed

1 Corinthians 11:8-9 (AMP) 8 For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; 9 for indeed man was not created for the sake of woman, but woman for the sake of man.

Psalm 115:9 (AMP) 9 O Israel, trust and take refuge in the Lord! [Be confident in Him, cling to Him, rely on His word!] He is their help and their shield.

Psalm 46:1 (NLT) 1 God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.

• One of the keys in finding a mate for woman is understanding what a man is looking for, he's looking for help in fulfilling his purpose

4. HE WAS CREATED AND SHE WAS FORMED

Genesis 2:21-22 (AMP) 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and while he slept, He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. 22 And the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man He made (fashioned, formed) into a woman, and He brought her and presented her to the man

Mud vs. Fine Furniture

• We are different , when came from dust women came from rib, ribs are one of the most refined bones- ribs, rib eye • Even the word for creation- men made of mud, women made like refined furniture

Created vs Formed

• . Male and female are not interchangeable or replaceable: they are exceptional.

Glass vs Brass

5. A WOMAN IS LOOKING FOR CONVERSATION WHILE MAN IS SEEKING ISOLATION

• A man refreshes in isolation and woman refreshes with engagement

Genesis 3:1-5 (AMP) 1 Now the serpent was more crafty (subtle, skilled in deceit) than any living creature of the field which the Lord God had made. And the serpent (Satan) said to the woman, "Can it really be that God has said, 'You shall not eat from any tree of the garden'?" 2 And the woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees of the garden, 3 except the fruit from the tree which is in the middle of the garden. God said, 'You shall not eat from it nor touch it, otherwise you will die.'" 4 But the serpent said to the woman, "You certainly will not die! 5 For God knows that on the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened [that is, you will have greater awareness], and you will be like God, knowing [the difference between] good and evil."

TIMES JESUS SOUGHT ISOLATION

1. Preparatory desert retreat

Mark 1:12 (AMP) "At once the Spirit sent [Jesus] out into the desert, and he was in the desert forty days, being tempted by Satan. He was with the wild animals, and angels attended him."

1. After an exhausting day of ministry to the sick.

Mark 1:35 (AMP) "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed."

1. A place of frequent retreat amidst the busy crowds seeking him.

Luke 5:15-16 (AMP) "[Despite Jesus' plea that his miracles be kept secret] the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed."

1. Preparatory for more healing and the sermon on the mount.

Luke 6:12-13 (AMP) "Jesus went out to a mountain side to pray, and spent the night praying to God. When morning came, he called his disciples to him."

1. After hearing that John the Baptist had been beheaded.

Matthew 14:13 (AMP) "When Jesus heard, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place."

1. After he fed the 5000, and before Peter walked to him on the water.

Matthew 14:23 (AMP) "After [Jesus] had dismissed [the crowds], he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was [still] there alone."

6. A MAN IS LOOKING TO MATE AND A WOMAN IS LOOKING FOR A MATE

• Be fruitful and multiply is a part of my call

Mate - Relate

• A man marries for sex not relationship, a woman marries for relationship not sex-all he wants is sex • A man's hormones drive him to want to have sex, and womans hormones drive her to want to have relationship • testosterone in men often linked to a stronger drive for sexual activity, while estrogen in women can be associated with a greater desire for emotional connection and relationship building

1 Corinthians 7:9 (AMP) But if they do not have [sufficient] self-control, they should marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

1 Corinthians 7:2,28,36,39 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband...

7. WHERE YOU INVEST IS WHERE YOU HARVEST

• Medical school, or law school, but new school for marriage, successful lawyer, failure doctor or lawyer • As soon you as think about the opposite sex, you need to start studying them

1 Peter 3:7 (AMP) 7 In the same way, you husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way [with great gentleness and tact, and with an intelligent regard for the marriage relationship], as with someone physically weaker, since she is a woman. Show her honor and respect as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered or ineffective.

8. MEN ARE MOVED BY RESPECT AND ADMIRATION A WOMAN IS MOVED BY ENGAGEMENT AND INTERACTION

• Men need you before they love, woman love before they need you • God doesn't have to tell woman to love

Ephesians 5:33 (AMP) However, each man among you [without exception] is to love his wife as his very own self [with behavior worthy of respect and esteem, always seeking the best for her with an attitude of lovingkindness], and the wife [must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband [that she notices him and prefers him and treats him with loving concern, treasuring him, honoring him, and holding him dear].

9. IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A LIFE PARTNER, YOU NEED TO HAVE A LIFE

PROVERBS 31 (AMP)

10. YOUR ENTRANCE INTO HIS LIFE SHOULD MOVE HIM INTO HIS KINGSHIP, BECAUSE A WOMAN IS A CARRIER OF FAVOR

Proverbs 18:22 (AMP) 22 He who finds a [true and faithful] wife finds a good thing And obtains favor and approval from the Lord.

Discussion Questions

1. Genesis 1:27 shows that men and women were created equal in God's image. How does understanding this foundational equality change the way we approach gender differences in relationships?
2. The message states that "a man was built for work and finds his identity and purpose through work." How can a woman support a man's calling without competing with it? What does healthy support look like?
3. If a woman was created to be a "helper suitable" for man, what does biblical help look like in a modern marriage? How is this different from being subservient or inferior?
4. The notes mention that "men refresh in isolation and women refresh with engagement." How can couples honor these different needs without creating distance or misunderstanding in their relationship?
5. What does it mean that "men are moved by respect and admiration while women are moved by engagement and interaction"? How should this understanding practically shape how spouses treat each other?
6. The principle "where you invest is where you harvest" is applied to marriage preparation. What does it look like to intentionally study and understand the opposite sex before marriage?
7. Jesus regularly sought isolation for prayer and renewal. How can women respect and create space for this need in their husbands while also getting their own need for connection met?
8. The message contrasts "looking to mate" versus "looking for a mate." How does understanding this difference help singles navigate dating and courtship with wisdom?
9. Proverbs 18:22 says a wife is a "carrier of favor." What does this mean practically? How should this truth influence how women view their role and how men value their wives?
10. Ephesians 5:33 commands husbands to love and wives to respect. Why do you think God assigns these specific responsibilities to each spouse? How do love and respect work together to build a strong marriage?

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