

Sermon Notes
Her Questions
Rules of Engagement - Her Questions
Rules of engagement are procedures that are put in place so that everyone knows what is expected and can work best together as a team.
Questions every woman should ask themselves
1. Is it your desire to be married, but it's not everyone's
1 Corinthians 7:7-9 7 But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. 8 So I say to those who aren't married and to widows—it's better to stay unmarried, just as I am. 9 But if they can't control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It's better to marry than to burn with lust.
2. Have you found your purpose in life? Because it will be very difficult to find a life partner if you don't know where you're going?
3. Am I Desperate? Desperation often leads to Disappointment
Rolls Royce doesn't have commercials because they are not advertising to the common man. They advertise at airplane shows because if you can afford a plane, the car is easy.
SPIRIT, SOUL, AND BODY
Questions need to be answered about him?
1. WHAT'S THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD AND IS HE A PRIORITY?
MATTHEW 6:33 (AMP) 33 But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also.
2. DOES HE LOVE GOD? A PERSON CAN KNOW GOD, BUT NOT LOVE OR OBEY GOD
1 JOHN 4:8 (AMP) 8 The one who does not love has not become acquainted with God [does not and never did know Him], for God is love. [He is the originator of love, and it is an enduring attribute of His nature.]
3. DOES HE KNOW WHAT LOVE IS?
1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-8 (AMP) 4 Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. 5 It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. 6 It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. 7 Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]. 8 Love never fails [it never fades nor ends].
4. WHAT'S THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR MOTHER OR IMPORTANT WOMEN? HOW DO YOUR PARENTS FEEL ABOUT THEM?
EPHESIANS 6:1-4 (AMP) 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord [that is, accept their guidance and discipline as His representatives], for this is right [for obedience teaches wisdom and self-discipline]. 2 Honor [esteem, value as precious] your father and your mother[and be respectful to them]—this is the first commandment with a promise— 3 so that it may be well with you, and that you may have a long life on the earth.
5. WHAT IS HIS PERSPECTIVE ON MARRIAGE?
GENESIS 2:24 (AMP) 24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
6. DOES HE KNOW HIS PURPOSE AND OR SEEKING TO FIND IT?
JEREMIAH 1:5 (AMP) 5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you [and approved of you as My chosen instrument], And before you were born I consecrated you [to Myself as My own]; I have appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
Proverbs 29:18 (AMP) 18 Where there is no vision [no revelation of God and His word], the people are unrestrained; But happy and blessed is he who keeps the law [of God].
Matthew 15:14 (AMP) 14 Leave them alone; they are blind guides [leading blind followers]. If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit."
7. DO YOU RESPECT HIM NOW?
EPHESIANS 5:33 (AMP) 33 and the wife [must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband [that she notices him and prefers him and treats him with loving concern, treasuring him, honoring him, and holding him dear].
• Define -respect- does he do things that are worthy of being respected
8. DOES HE BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOU?
EPHESIANS 5:26 (AMP) so that He might sanctify the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word [of God],
9. WHO IS HE ACCOUNTABLE TO?
• Who does he report to? Who does he submit to? who do respect and obey,Who do they listen to?
Hebrews 13:17 (AMP) 17 Obey your [spiritual] leaders and submit to them [recognizing their authority over you], for they are keeping watch over your souls and continually guarding your spiritual welfare as those who will give an account [of their stewardship of you]. Let them do this with joy and not with grief and groans, for this would be of no benefit to you.
10. DOES HE BRING YOU PEACE?
• PEACE IN YOUR HEART- THE UMPIRE OF YOUR SOUL, WE ARE LOOKING PEACE, TRUST INSTINCT, YOU GUT, Security
1 PETER 3:11 (AMP) 11 "He must turn away from wickedness and do what is right. He must search for peace [with God, with self, with others] and pursue it eagerly [actively—not merely desiring it].
11. DOES HE MAKE YOU LAUGH?
PROVERBS 17:22 (AMP) 22 A happy heart is good medicine and a joyful mind causes healing,
12. HAS HE PUT AWAY CHILDISH THINGS?
1 CORINTHIANS 13:11 (AMP) 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.
13. IS HE STABLE?
• OBSERVE THE CONSISTENCY OF behavior OF YEAR OF SEASONS, CHALLENGES, JOB ISSUES-STRESS MAKES PEOPLE DIFFERENT- • What's his decision making process?
JAMES 1:8 (amp) 8 being a double-minded man, unstable and restless in all his ways [in everything he thinks, feels, or decides].
14. HOW DO THEY HANDLE THEIR MONEY AND MOUTH
LUKE 6:45 (MSG) 45 Your true being brims over into true words and deeds
Matthew 6:21 (MSG) 21 "The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.
15. Are they healed and whole FROM PAST relationships, TRAUMAS, TRIGGERS, AND TRAPS
16. WHAT ARE YOUR RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS?
17. ARE YOU UNEVENLY YOKED?
2 CORINTHIANS 6:14 (AMP) 14 Do not be unequally bound together with unbelievers [do not make mismatched alliances with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
Discussion Questions
- Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 that singleness is a gift from God. How can single women discern whether they are called to marriage or called to remain single? What are the benefits of each calling?
- The notes ask "Have you found your purpose in life?" Why is it important to know your own purpose before seeking a life partner? How does lacking purpose affect relationships?
- "Desperation often leads to disappointment." What are signs that someone is making relationship decisions out of desperation rather than wisdom? How can women guard against desperation?
- Why is a man's relationship with God the first and most important question to ask? How can you tell the difference between someone who merely attends church and someone who truly loves and obeys God?
- The question "Does he know what love is?" references 1 Corinthians 13. How can you observe whether a potential partner demonstrates these qualities of love before marriage?
- Why is it important to observe how a man treats his mother and other important women in his life? What does this reveal about how he might treat his future wife?
- Question #13 emphasizes observing someone's behavior across different seasons and challenges. Why is time so important in the dating process? What can stress reveal about a person's character?
- Matthew 6:21 says "where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be." How do a person's spending habits and financial priorities reveal their heart and values?
- The notes ask "Are they healed and whole from past relationships, traumas, triggers, and traps?" Why is emotional and spiritual healing crucial before entering a new relationship? What are red flags of unhealed wounds?
- 2 Corinthians 6:14 warns against being "unequally yoked." Beyond just salvation, what other areas of alignment are important for a healthy Christian marriage (values, vision, spiritual maturity, etc.)?
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About this Sermon
Series
Rules Of EngagementSpeaker
Dr. Jomo Cousins
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