Mary Did You Know? The True Cost of Christmas

Every Christmas, we sing the carols, admire the nativity scenes, and celebrate the birth of our Savior. But have you ever stopped to consider what Christmas really cost the young woman at the center of the story?

When we hear "Mary Did You Know," we focus on the miraculous baby, but did Mary know what she was signing up for when she said yes to God?

Great people often make great sacrifices.

I used to play professional football, and I have the scars to prove it. Two ACL reconstructions on my left knee, a right knee that needs surgery, and a shoulder held together with screws. I realized anyone who accomplishes great things will have scars.

Runners who run hard often have toe issues. UFC fighters develop cauliflower ear from repeated hits. Boxers' noses make an S-shape from being broken so many times. Paul speaks about this in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, saying that athletes who compete in the games are disciplined and exercise self-control in all things. He says, "Like a boxer, I strictly discipline my body and make it my slave."

But last week during our Christmas service, when I heard the song "Mary Did You Know," God hit me with a question that changed how I see the nativity: Did Mary know what she said yes to?

This Christmas season, we need to look beyond the pretty manger scene and understand the real sacrifice at the heart of the first Christmas. Sometimes in this faith walk, we say yes to God but we don't count the cost. What did Mary's yes really mean for that first Christmas and for every Christmas since?

The Favor That Comes With Being Used by God

Luke 1:26-28 records the moment everything changed for Mary: "Now in the sixth month of Elizabeth's pregnancy, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city in Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, a descendant of the House of David, and the virgin's name was Mary. And coming to her, the angel said, 'Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you.'"

That phrase hit me: Those who God uses are favored.

Sometimes we get frustrated in being used by God because we feel like we're going through things, not realizing your suffering means you're being favored. God chose you because you're a favorite. Job went through some things, but he was favored.

Those who are going through some things don't complain, because you've just been favored. God saw something in you. I always wrestle with the story of Job and how he went through all he went through. Could it be that God trusted him enough to walk it out?

Sometimes God allows you to go through some things because He trusts you to walk it out.

A great man once said, "Responsibility often gravitates to the shoulder who can handle it." Sometimes in your life, God puts things on your shoulders, but He only puts it there because He knew you could handle it.

Sometimes you have to go through a storm because God already knew what was on the inside of you. You don't even know what's inside you until you get into a fight. In the midst of going through a fight, you realize there was something inside of you, but it would not come out unless it was agitated.

In a washing machine, they call it agitation. Until it's ruffled up, you don't realize all that God has on the inside of you. Sometimes God allows you to go through a storm because He wants you to know what's already inside you.

The angel told Mary in verse 30, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God." For God to use you means that you are already favored.

The Impossible Becomes Possible Through God

Verses 31-33 continue: "Listen carefully, you will conceive in your womb and give birth to a son, and you shall name him Jesus. He shall be great and imminent and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David, and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and His kingdom shall have no end."

Mary said to the angel, "How will this be since I am a virgin and have no intimacy with any man?"

What man says is impossible, God says is possible. Matthew 19:26 reads: "Jesus looked at them and said, 'Humanly speaking, it's impossible, but with God all things are possible.'"

The angel replied in verse 35: "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power, His power, will overshadow you like a cloud. For that reason, the holy, pure, sinless child shall be called the Son of God."

People often wrestle with why the Spirit and not a man. Every man since Adam has a sin nature. If that sin nature impregnates her, that child will also have sin. God needed a clean sacrifice. Therefore, no man could fix this situation. This was a spiritual thing that needed to be impregnated because God wanted to manufacture a sinless child, because all of us are born into sin, as David said.

Verse 36 provides confirmation: "And listen, even your relative Elizabeth has also conceived a son in her old age, and she who was called barren is now in her sixth month."

Then comes verse 37, the foundation of faith: "For with God, nothing is impossible."

Mary's Yes: The Cost of Total Surrender

Verse 38 contains Mary's response, the moment that changed everything: "Then Mary said, 'Behold, I am a servant of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.'"

What did she say? "Have Your Way."

But what does "have your way" mean to a woman who's never known a man? God said, "Jomo, I want you to dig into this."

I have never been pregnant. But my wife, when I married her, was different. When she became pregnant, there were changes. And every child brought different changes.

The Reality of Sacrifice: What Pregnancy Costs

The first pregnancy, we had good mentorship, good people around her telling her what she needed and didn't need. The second baby brought different voices and different challenges. By the third one, she was fully equipped. She came to the hospital saying, "I'm ready to go." They were amazed at how calm she was. She'd been there before, she was a professional now, understanding the whole process.

But seeing my wife lose hair (the Bible says a woman's hair is her glory), seeing her have dental challenges because the baby was sucking everything from her, seeing her use cocoa butter trying to make sure everything came back the way it was, seeing her wobble....

Mary never had a baby. Did she know all that she said yes to?

Sometimes I believe we say yes to God, but we don't know all we're saying yes to. Looking this up, I found information about hormonal influence. For the first baby, my wife was throwing up all the time, just sick, just vomiting. Then came the cravings: "I need bacon! I need a pickle!" The smells, the taste buds changing, nausea, water retention, backaches.

Did Mary know what she said yes to?

Sometimes we walk this faith walk, and when some adversity or challenge comes, we flake out, not understanding what you said yes to. I'm so impressed by Mary.

Romans 12:1 says: "Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies, dedicated, all of yourself, set apart, a living sacrifice, holy and well-pleasing to God, which is your rational, logical, intelligent act of worship."

What Mary Gave Up

She gave up her identity. She gave up her body. She gave up her time.

Any woman who's had a baby, I don't care if that child is one year old or 30 years old, they're always going to be your baby.

Ten months of labor, not knowing how this process was going to go or the changes she would go through. She said yes.

Some of us can't say yes to service.

She said yes to raising a baby with a baby daddy situation that could have been disastrous. It was so bad the Holy Spirit had to come to Joseph in a dream saying, "Hey man, slow down." The Bible said he was about to put her away privately, and God said, "Hold on, it's Me. Go ahead, she's cool."

Psalm 39:5 reminds us: "Behold, You have made my days as short as the hand's width, in my lifetime is nothing in Your sight. Surely every man at his best is mere breath, a wisp of smoke, a vapor."

If life is a vapor, who would give up their life to raise a child, not even theirs, not even their plan? This takes her off schedule.

No woman who has a baby life is the same.

The Ultimate Sacrifice

First Samuel 4:20 records that Rachel died giving birth. When you say you're going to birth a child, there's a possibility you might not make it out.

John 15:13 reads: "No one has greater love nor stronger commitment than to lay down his life for his friends."

Mary laid her life down, laid her plans down, laid her dreams down for Jesus.

She laid her relationship down. She was in a full-blown relationship, getting ready to get married, and said, "Time out, my body needs to be used of the Lord."

That's different. She loved God enough to say, "God, have Your way." Total surrender.

This is the love God speaks of in Matthew 22:37: "Jesus replied, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment.'"

Did They Know What They Said Yes To?

As I processed this, this morning, I said, "Lord, what are You trying to tell me?" He said, "This Christmas season, make sure you know what you're saying yes to."

As we're on the cusp of a new year and everyone is going to set their New Year's resolutions, what is going to take your relationship with God to the next level? It's going to be the level of commitment that you choose to lay things down to pick up the cross.

For you to be all that God wants you to be, it's going to cost you.

Did Abraham know he'd leave his family and everything behind in Genesis 12 when God said, "Leave behind your family, leave behind your friends, leave behind what you know and go to a land I'll show you"?

Did Stephen know he would be stoned to death because he said yes to Jesus?

Did Simon Peter know he would be crucified upside down for Jesus?

Did Paul know that when he met Jesus on the Damascus Road he would be stoned, shipwrecked, snake-bitten, whipped, scorched, and imprisoned?

Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12, "Lord, I asked You three times to remove this thorn from my side, but Your grace is sufficient, for in my weakness Your strength is made perfect."

Did Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. know that when he said yes to righteousness, he'd be slain?

There are some stands you make in this faith walk that may cost you.

The Refiner's Fire: Becoming Like Christ

The question is: Do you know? If you are a believer of Jesus Christ, there will be pressure on you to capitulate, to say things you don't really believe.

The Bible says that He is the Potter and we are the clay. We have to allow God to mold us in the fashion that's most useful for Him.

For those who get up with me in the morning to pray, I say a simple prayer at the end:

Change my heart, oh God Make it ever true Change my heart, oh God May I be like You You are the Potter I am Your clay Mold me and make me This is what I pray

We are constantly being molded into the image and likeness of Jesus. God's going to take you through some things in life so that eventually, one day, you can look like Him.

Prior to ministry, this was not my plan or goal. I'm halfway decent at it, got a lot of work to do, a lot of improvements to make. But I realized when I look back at the journey, as much pain and heartache as it's been, I see what God is doing.

When my wife and I sit down and have our discussions, I didn't know all the pain that came with my yes, all the trials that come with yes, the losses that come with yes. And to still stand up and say, "Lord, You are good."

It's painful to fight, brothers and sisters. It's a fight.

When I saw Mary, it hit me: Did she know?

I wrestle. I was sitting in the car thinking about my mother, wrestling, thinking about my father, wrestling. Prior to ministry, everybody was here. I looked at God and said, "Lord, help me understand."

To whom much is given, much is required. The longer you walk with God, the greater you'll see the cost to stay in faith and keep walking and believing God when it doesn't work out the way you thought.

The Question God Asked Me

I had a question: "Jomo, did you know?"

I didn't know.

But I tell you today, my brothers and sisters: Trust God.

This Christmas season, understand that this walk of faith will be a sacrifice, and Mary gave us an example of how to make that sacrifice.

One day you'll stand before God, and God willing, you'll hear this: "Well done, My good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of the Lord."

How Do You Know When You're Ready?

A goldsmith would put gold in the fire. I like watching National Geographic shows where they take raw gold and put it in fire to purify it and burn out the impurities. The highest gold is 23 or 24 karat. There's 10 karat, 14 karat, 18 karat.

Right now in your life, you may be 10 karat, but you want to be 14. God puts you back in the fire. After 14, you become 18. But the only way to raise your karat level? Put you back in the fire.

The refiner says, "How do you know when the gold is finished?" They pull it out, and you can see your reflection in it.

My brothers and sisters, you're going to stay in that fire until God can pull you out and see Himself in you. Until He can see Himself in you, you're going to stay in that spot, because God is trying to purify you so one day you look just like Jesus, because you've been through something.

It's not easy. I cry often. But after I cry and let it out, I say, "Okay Lord, let's keep walking. Let's keep walking. I don't understand everything, but we're just going to keep on walking."

Your Yes Matters This Christmas

This Christmas season isn't just about presents under the tree or family gatherings. It's about celebrating the most costly yes ever given, Mary's yes that brought Jesus into the world.

As you celebrate the birth of Christ this Christmas, remember Mary's sacrifice. Remember her yes. Remember that she didn't know everything that saying yes would cost her, but she trusted God anyway. That's the real Christmas story, not just a baby in a manger, but a young woman's radical obedience that changed eternity.

This Christmas, what is God asking you to say yes to?

What dreams is He asking you to lay down? What plans is He asking you to surrender? What comfort is He asking you to release?

Change begins with you. If you want something different, do something different. This Christmas, recommit. Rededicate your life to Christ today.

Mary's yes changed the world and gave us Christmas. Your yes might not bring the Savior into the world, but it will bring Him into your world and into the lives of everyone you touch.

This Christmas, as you light the candles and sing the carols, remember: Christmas began with a young girl's yes. It began with sacrifice. It began with faith in the impossible.

Say yes, even when you don't know the cost. Say yes, even when it's scary. Say yes, because God has favored you. Say yes, because with God, nothing is impossible.

May it be done to me according to Your word.

That's the real message of Christmas.

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