17 Biblical Qualities to Look for in a Husband

As women of God seeking His will for marriage, we must understand that not every woman is called to be married. The Apostle Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 7 that singlehood is a gift, and "to be single and sane is a gift." But if you feel called to marriage and "cannot control yourselves, you should go ahead and marry; it's better to marry than to burn with lust," then this message is for you.

The challenge many Christian women face today is not knowing what to look for in a godly husband. Without biblical guidelines, we end up settling for less than God's best or making decisions based on emotion rather than wisdom.

Before You Search: Three Essential Questions

1. Do You Know Your Purpose?

Before asking God for a husband, you must first understand your calling. If God has called you to be a runner, you need to find another runner. Your purpose must align with your future husband's mission because "iron sharpens iron."

2. Are You Healed from Past Trauma?

"Hurt people hurt people." You cannot enter a healthy marriage carrying unhealed wounds. Take time to process your past, work through triggers, and become whole before adding someone else to your life.

3. Are You Positioned for the Right Connection?

Ruth placed herself in Boaz's field. Where you position yourself determines who finds you. Stop hanging out in places that don't reflect your values and start positioning yourself where godly men gather.

The 17 Biblical Qualities to Look For

Spiritual Foundation (Spirit, Soul, Body)

The Bible teaches we are "spirit, soul, and body." Too often, we evaluate men backwards - focusing on physical attraction first, character second, and spiritual life last. God's order is spirit first, soul second, body third.

1. Does He Have a Relationship with God?

Key Scripture: Matthew 6:33 - "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness."

A man who loves God will be aligned with His purposes. He won't be perfect, but he can be corrected and will prioritize spiritual growth.

2. Does He Love God (Not Just Know About Him)?

The devil knows God, but doesn't love Him. 1 John 4:8 tells us "God is love," so a man who doesn't know love cannot love you properly. How can he give you what he doesn't have?

3. Does He Understand What Love Actually Is?

According to 1 Corinthians 13, love is patient. If someone is pressuring you or demanding immediate gratification, they're showing lust, not love. Real love is kind, not jealous, not proud, and not rude.

Character and Relationships

4. How Does He Treat His Mother?

If he doesn't honor his mother, "you ain't got no shot." The Bible commands us to honor our parents, and this is tied to longevity and blessing. A man's treatment of his mother reveals how he'll treat you.

5. What's His View of Marriage?

Some men will try to justify multiple partners by pointing to Old Testament figures. But Genesis 2:24 clearly states: "A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife" - singular, not plural. Make sure he understands God's design for marriage.

6. Does He Know His Purpose?

"Never follow a parked car because they're going nowhere." A man without mission shouldn't expect submission. You need to know where he's leading before you follow.

7. Do You Respect Him Now?

Ephesians 5:33 commands wives to respect their husbands. If you can't find something respectable about him right now, don't expect it to develop later. People don't change much.

8. Does He Bring Out Your Best?

When you're struggling, does he encourage prayer? Does he speak life over you? A godly husband should draw out your best qualities and push you toward spiritual growth.

Accountability and Stability

9. Who Holds Him Accountable?

"Iron sharpens iron." Every man needs other godly men who can speak truth into his life. A man with no accountability will wreck himself and take you down with him.

10. Does He Bring You Peace?

Your peace is "the umpire of your soul." If your spirit is unsettled around him, pay attention. A man cannot give peace if he doesn't first have peace with God, then with himself.

11. Does He Make You Laugh More Than Cry?

"A happy heart is good medicine." Joy should characterize your relationship more than sorrow or stress.

Maturity and Responsibility

12. Has He Put Away Childish Things?

1 Corinthians 13:11 says when we become adults, we put away childish things. Can he prioritize responsibilities over recreation? Are the bills paid before he buys entertainment?

13. Is He Stable in His Decisions?

"A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways." You'll live with his choices. Does he make decisions based on wisdom or just feelings?

Communication and Values

14. How Does He Handle Money and His Words?

Luke 6:45 teaches that "your true being brings over into true words." If love never comes out of his mouth, it was never in his heart. Also, where he spends his money reveals his true priorities.

Healing and Compatibility

15. Are You Both Healed?

Both parties need to be whole. Unhealed people overreact to situations because past trauma gets triggered in present relationships.

16. What Are His Relationship Patterns?

Just like applying for a loan requires checking credit history, you need to know his relationship track record. How many relationships in the past year? What are his patterns when trouble comes?

17. Are You Equally Yoked?

2 Corinthians 6:14 warns against being "unequally yoked." Like an ox and donkey working together, mismatched couples struggle. The stronger one ends up dragging the weaker one, leading to frustration and exhaustion.

The Bottom Line

Ladies, you are not on sale. You're not a clearance item at a discount store. You're a Rolls-Royce, and Rolls-Royce doesn't advertise to just anyone. They understand product placement and know their worth.

Stop positioning yourself where you'll attract the wrong type of man. Place yourself in environments where godly men gather. Use this biblical checklist not to be legalistic, but to be wise.

Remember, the world won't give you this kind of guidance. They'll tell you to "hook up and figure it out," but God has a better way. His plan leads to blessing, not heartbreak.

Prayer for Single Women Seeking Marriage

Father God, I thank You for Your perfect plan for my life. If marriage is Your will for me, help me prepare myself to be the woman You've called me to be. Give me wisdom to recognize the man You have for me, and patience to wait for Your timing. Help me position myself according to Your will and trust Your process. In Jesus' name, Amen.

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