Self-Control & The Key to Unlocking Your Faith's Potential

You can have all the faith in the world, but without self-control, you're like a house with the doors and windows knocked out:anybody can come in and wreak havoc in your life.

Let me be real with you: A person without self-control is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out (Proverbs 25:28). Your life is wide open. Anyone can trigger you. Anything can throw you off course. And I've seen too many people abort what God was doing in their lives because they couldn't control themselves in the waiting room.

Faith is your foundation. Then you develop moral excellence. Then knowledge. And today? We're talking about self-control:the gift that keeps you in position to receive everything God has for you.

Self-Control Is Built Through Struggle

We all saw that marshmallow experiment, right? Kids who could delay gratification:who had self-control:ended up more successful in life. That's not just psychology. That's biblical principle.

Look at the very first sin. God said, "Don't touch." The first sin in human history was a lack of what? Self-control. When you examine your life and the mistakes you've made, how many times did mama or daddy say "don't do that" and you did it anyway?

The crux of success in faith is self-mastery. And here's what I need you to understand: this struggle doesn't go away. I don't care how old you are:you'll be dealing with this for the rest of your life.

I remember talking to my daddy when I was about to marry Charmaine. I said, "Daddy, there's all these women out there in the world. How do you control yourself?" My Jamaican father said, "Jomo, you don't need control. You need organization."

I wasn't looking for that answer. That's called pimping, and that's exactly why he was where he was:no self-control. Thank God I found Jesus.

The Waiting Room Will Test You

Here's the reality: There's often a season of time between the promise of God and the manifestation of God. And if you're not careful in that waiting room, you'll abort what God's doing.

God promised Abraham and Sarah a baby but didn't tell them it would be 25 years. Moses would take them to the promised land, but God didn't mention the 40 years first. David was anointed king but had to wait 15 years.

God will give you a sneak preview of things to come, but He'll never give you a timeline. And here's the tough part: God will show Joseph a palace but never show him the prison. Because if God showed you the hell you're about to go through for what you're asking Him for, you wouldn't go.

You'll ask God for something, but there's an exchange that must take place. You often don't want to pay the price for what you say you want. God wants to give it to you, but it's going to cost you something.

David's Masterclass in Self-Control

Let me teach you about a man who made terrible mistakes but developed incredible self-control through his trials. His name was David.

After David killed Goliath, King Saul hired him. Everything was cool until David went out on a battle and slaughtered so many enemies that the women started singing: "Saul has killed his thousands, but David has killed ten thousands."

Saul got in his feelings. Started making mistakes because he thought about himself instead of recognizing it was God who put him in position.

Here's a word for every leader: Never kill your David. God will put people in your life to help you. You can't get offended when their gift starts to shine. If they're under you, let it shine.

Look at Jerry Jones and Jimmy Johnson. Jimmy Johnson was winning championships for the Cowboys, but Jerry got in his feelings because the coach was getting too much shine. He fired him. And now? They suck. Brother Sydney sitting right there can confirm:now they suck.

Spears in the Dark

The next day, an ugly mood sent by God (yeah, not every bad mood is the devil) came over Saul. He became beside himself, raving. David played his harp like he usually did when Saul got mad.

Saul had a spear in his hand. Suddenly, he threw it, thinking "I'll nail David to the wall." David ducked. The spear missed.

This happened twice.

Think about that. If somebody threw a spear at you once, that's one thing. But you had to stay in position for them to throw it at you again? How about this: Sometimes we allow offense to get us out of position.

David said, "I'm called to worship." And even though it was tight, he didn't let an agitant or irritant get him out of where God placed him.

How many seasons have you aborted because you allowed people to get on your nerves? You left your job, your position, what God called you to do because you let one person get under your skin.

Stop being played like a joystick. Stop allowing people to push your buttons. At some point, you've got to grow past that.

"Pastor, I'm gonna give her a piece of my mind." No, you already gave up too many pieces of your mind. Keep all the mind you got. Don't give up any more pieces.

Four Assassination Attempts:And He Kept Worshiping

Over the next few chapters, Saul tried to kill David four different times. And check this out:David never got out of position.

The word righteousness means right positioning or positioned right. Sometimes you miss your breakthrough because you got out of position. Not every position is supposed to be comfortable. Sometimes uncomfortable seasons are called growth. If you run from every uncomfortable season, you'll never grow.

The Bathroom Ambush

Then David got his chance for revenge. Saul came into a cave to relieve himself (yeah, to use the bathroom), and David and his men were sitting in the back in the dark.

Imagine:you're going to the bathroom and the person who wants to kill you is already there sitting in the darkness. And God forbid he's doing number two.

David's men said, "This is the day the Lord said He'd hand over your enemy to you. Do whatever you want."

These are jumper cables:when someone tells you to do something you're not supposed to do.

David rose from the darkness and cut the edge of Saul's robe. That's it. Just the hem.

And afterward, David's conscience bothered him.

Let me show you something powerful. Romans 9:1 says, "My conscience testifies with me, enlightened and prompted by the Holy Spirit." When something's on your conscience, it's the Holy Spirit trying to help you.

You know that feeling when you do something wrong? "I just don't feel right about this." That's your conscience:the antenna for the Holy Spirit. When you fix it, you feel peace again.

David's conscience convicted him. The Holy Spirit said, "Whoa, touch not God's anointed." And David listened to his inner ear, not the voices around him.

When Haters Throw Stones

Fast forward. David is now king. A man named Shimei: who rode with the old regime, with Saul:sees David and starts cursing him out. Not just words, either. He's throwing stones at him.

Now, David is a professional stone thrower. That's how he killed Goliath. This is NOT the person you want to throw stones at.

But David sits back and lets himself get hit. He's getting cussed out in front of all his people.

It's one thing to get cussed out by yourself. It's a whole other thing to get cussed out in front of people. You know how people give you courage when they're around? "You gonna let him talk to you like that? He said that about your mama!"

Shimei shouted: "Get out! You man of bloodshed! You worthless, useless man!"

Abishai, David's nephew, said, "Why should this dead dog curse my lord? Let me go over there and take his head off. Come on, Uncle David, please. It's on me. Just bail me out."

You know that family member. "I'll whoop them. Just bail me out. I'll call you soon. But this right here:he's getting dealt with."

There's a new word called "on sight." If I see you on sight, I'm beating you. You don't take this family member places with you.

But David said, "Leave him alone. Let him curse me. My own son Absalom who came from my body is trying to kill me. How much more reason does this Benjamite have to curse me? Perhaps the Lord will look upon this wrong and bless me because I didn't respond."

Why do you get offended when a person doesn't know you personally, but you take it personally? If I don't know you and you talk about me, why does that matter?

I used to be sensitive. When people shoulder-bumped me walking, the old me would tighten my shoulder up. But I'm saved now. Why am I taking things so personally when they don't know me?

How David Lost His Self-Control

You might be thinking, "How did David get this level of self-control?" Here's the truth: There was a time when he didn't have it.

Often, our best lessons are learned after we come through the pit and say, "I'm never doing that again."

In 2 Samuel 11, it happened. David should have been at battle with his men, but he stayed in Jerusalem. One evening, he got up from his couch and walked on the roof. He saw a woman. She was very beautiful.

David sent word: "Who's this?" They told him, "That's Bathsheba, daughter of Eliam, wife of Uriah."

God literally named her to trigger something in David's mind. Eliam is one of your good guys. Uriah is one of your best fighters. This is NOT the one you should touch. You could have any woman you want, David. You're the king. Don't do this.

But David sent messengers and slept with her. She got pregnant. David called her husband back from battle, trying to cover it up. When that didn't work, he had Uriah killed. Then the baby died.

David was forgiven, but the consequences stayed with him. God will give you grace, but you're going to have to take those consequences. Yes, you're forgiven, but what you did, you still own. You made your bed, you're going to lie in it.

Five Keys to Developing Self-Control

Let me land the plane with practical keys:

1. Understand the Struggle Is Normal

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to human experience." People are going to push your buttons. The devil is here to tempt you. This is normal. But God is faithful:He won't let you be tempted beyond your ability to resist, and He always provides a way out.

2. Stay Focused on the Goal

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? Run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things" (1 Corinthians 9:24-25).

I don't run aimlessly. I don't box as one beating air. I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

3. Follow God's Plan for Communication

James 1:19 breaks it down: "Be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger."

Be a careful, thoughtful listener. Be a speaker of carefully chosen words. Be patient, reflective, and forgiving. Here's the payoff: The resentful, deep-seated anger of man does not produce righteousness.

When you get angry, you get out of position. When you're emotional, you're not logical. Emotion will take the place of logic if you let it, and you'll do dumb stuff.

4. Acknowledge Your Need for Help

Self-control is a gift from the Holy Spirit. It's one of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). That means you need the Holy Spirit to get the gift.

You can't do this on your own. You need divine help.

5. Set Your Thermostat, Don't Be a Thermometer

When my kids get sick, we use a thermometer. It tells you the temperature of whatever you're measuring. If it's hot, it reads hot. If it's cold, it reads cold. A thermometer just reflects the atmosphere.

But a thermostat? A thermostat sets the atmosphere.

The question is: Are you a thermostat or a thermometer? Can people make you hot and make you cold, or are you set at peace?

I know you're mad at me, but you're not going to trigger me today. I got the joy of the Lord, and the joy of the Lord is my strength. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

2 Timothy 1:7 says, "God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind."

Set Yourself at Peace

I want you to set your thermostat at peace. And people are not going to make you raise up or slow down. You've got your peace, and you're not giving it away.

People triggered you before. I know they did. But today, you're about to graduate. You're going to set your nest at rest. You're resting in Him.

One of the hardest things to do as believers is rest in Him, knowing that it's going to work out for your good. I know it doesn't look good right now, but it's going to work out. You're going to trust Him.

This week, people are going to try to make you lose your peace. In this political climate, brothers and sisters aren't talking because they allowed irritants to come in. Don't lose your peace over politics, family drama, or workplace chaos.

Jesus is Lord. That's it. That's the only one. When you get to the pearly gates, they're not asking about your political party. They're asking, "Do you know Jesus?"

Though I may not agree with you, I love you. Don't slip into the trap of hating people because now you've affected your faith and your witness.

Set your thermostat at peace. Stay in position. Exercise self-control. And watch God move on your behalf in ways you never imagined.

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