Stop comparing yourself to others and stay in your lane

Comparing yourself to others will kill your calling if you let it. God gave you a specific assignment, He equipped you for that assignment, and He is not measuring you against anybody else's life. The fastest way to lose your joy and your purpose is to take your eyes off your own lane and put them on somebody else's.

Today I want to deal with the thing behind so many offenses. Comparison.

Offenses are coming whether you like it or not

Jesus said it, not Jomo. Luke 17:1 says, "It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come."

Let me tell you how true that is. My wife and I went on a cruise recently. We're not causing any trouble, just enjoying ourselves. Now if you've ever been on a cruise ship, you know too many people try to get on the elevator. I have elevator rules. I tuck into the corner, both shoulders on the wall, minding my business.

The elevator opens and a gentleman gets on, takes one look at me, does a double take, and says, "The elevator's full. I bet if I whooped y'all, I bet I get a lot of respect."

Now I haven't been in that situation in a long time. I'm a pastor now. The old me would have responded a whole different way. But I'm saved. So I simply said, "I don't think that's going to work out too well for you." And by God's grace, the doors opened and I stepped right off.

Here's my point. You don't have to start anything with anybody for offense to find you. You can be tucked in the corner of an elevator minding your business. So when Jesus said offenses are coming, believe Him. But hear this too. I can't control what you say to me, but I have to control how I respond. You are responsible for your response.

Ecclesiastes 7:21 backs this up. "Do not take seriously everything that is said." If you live long enough, somebody is going to try you every single week. The question is simple. Have you grown?

What does the Bible say about comparing yourself to others

Second Corinthians 10:12 puts it plainly. When people "measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they lack wisdom."

Let me give you a picture. Imagine a 16 foot tape measure. God says, "I've called you to a 16 foot job." Everything He put inside of you prepares you and qualifies you for that 16 foot assignment, because God will never ask you to do something you're not capable of doing. If you max out your 16 feet, God says, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

But here's the problem. You see your brother with a bigger tape measure and you start saying, "Lord have mercy, he can do more than me." What you don't know is your brother stops at 18 feet when God put 35 in him. God looks at him with disappointment. Meanwhile you, who were built for 16, pick up his 35 and get discouraged over a measurement that was never yours.

Why are you disappointed about something God has not called you to? Whatever God has called you to, He has equipped you for.

What can we learn from Miriam and Aaron in Numbers 12

Numbers 12 opens with family talking. "Now Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cushite woman whom he married."

Before I go in on Miriam, I want you to know she was not a bad person. She was a praise and worship leader and a prophetess, serving God faithfully. This is the same Miriam who watched over baby Moses in the basket and arranged for their own mother to nurse him. She loved her brother. If she hated him, she never would have done that.

I want you to see that, because you can be in church, serving faithfully, and still be offended.

Miriam's problem was never Moses. It was her comparing. She wasn't angry at Moses. She was mad at the place God put her in the story. So she and Aaron said, "Has the Lord really spoken only through Moses? Has He not spoken through us too?" And the Bible adds four words that should make all of us careful. "And the Lord heard it."

You can talk all you want and think the person you're talking about can't hear you. God hears you.

Here's what makes it worse. Go back to the beginning of the story. The only reason Aaron had a role at all is because Moses told God he couldn't speak and God said, "Is there not your brother Aaron? He speaks fluently. Send him with you." If Moses had simply said yes, there would have been no need for Aaron. So the man is in the room because of Moses, and now he has the audacity to talk about Moses. Don't forget who covered you.

God called all three of them outside. He defended Moses Himself, because Moses never said a word in his own defense. And Miriam was struck with leprosy. Why her and not Aaron? The Bible names her first, which means she was the instigator. Be careful instigating things. And Aaron was the high priest. He was the one who would have to declare her clean again.

Watch what happens next. Aaron turns to the same brother they were just talking about and says, "Oh, my lord, I plead with you." Not "Moses." My lord. The same person you talk about may be the very person you need. Be careful putting your mouth on people. You might need them before they need you.

Why does comparison steal your joy

Some of you spend too much time on Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat watching other people's highlight reels. They are never going to show you their down days. All they're going to post is the celebration, and you start to think every day in their life is a holiday. That's a lie from the pit of hell.

Comparison leads to depression. It leads to doubt. It leads to despair. And it's an insult to God, because when you despise what God gave you while craving what He gave somebody else, you're telling the Maker He got it wrong.

Here's a principle that will change your life if you grab it. Never hate where you're trying to get to. When you hate where you're trying to get to, you disqualify yourself from getting there. You can't hate it and want it at the same time. You're better off celebrating it. If God can do it for them, God can do it for you.

So keep your own tape measure. All you have to do is be better than who you used to be.

Why does God use broken people

People look at what God is doing and ask me, "Jomo, how did you do it?" I tell them the truth. I died.

People want your oil but they don't know how much it costs. The oil comes through crushing. A pastor once asked me, "Why do you think God chose you?" I said, "Bro, that's above my pay grade, but let me walk you down the road." My mother died. The day after she died, my father died. The next year my daughter got ill. The year after that I had stage three colon cancer and went through chemo. I've had knee reconstructions and shoulder reconstruction. I've got screws all over my body, so I am officially screwed up. I've been through bankruptcy, foreclosure, and repossession.

People only want to see your highlights. I can tell you about the gutter God brought me out of. Jesus said unless a seed falls to the ground and dies, there's no new life. So when you see new life, understand a lot of things had to die first.

And hear this. God does not look at your past to qualify you for your future. If God can do it for me, God can do it for you.

What does it mean to stay in your lane

Think about a track race. If you want to win a sprint, you have to stay in your lane. Step outside of it and you're disqualified. Some of us wonder why we're not winning, and the answer is we're too busy looking at somebody else's lane to run in our own.

Romans 12 says we are like parts of one body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole. A chopped off finger doesn't amount to much by itself, so just be what God called you to be "without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other."

Maybe you can't sing. Can you greet somebody at a door? Can you hand out a bag? Can you walk a child back to children's ministry? Not everyone is going to be on a stage, but all of us can be before Christ. Find your place in the body, because every part is necessary. You might be the pinky toe, but stub that pinky toe one time and tell me it doesn't matter.

Jesus told a parable in Matthew 25 about a man who gave one servant five talents, another two, and another one, "each according to his ability." God will never give you what you can't handle. So if God gave you one, ride out your one. Stop asking why he got five.

How do you stop comparing yourself to others

Start by closing your mouth about what you can't do. When God called Moses, Moses gave Him a list. "Who am I? I'm not eloquent. I'm slow of speech. Send someone else." And God answered, "Who made man's mouth? Is it not I, the Lord?"

Stop telling God what you can't do. Some of you could do so much more, but you're stuck in your own head rehearsing your limitations. God said go. Go scared if you have to, but go.

Then settle this. Never avenge yourself when people talk about you. Romans 12:19 says, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." Stop trying to fix people. Let God do it. He does a better job, and you keep yourself out of trouble. Moses said nothing in Numbers 12, and God handled the whole thing.

And finally, run your race. Your lane is yours alone. Nobody else can live the life God gave you. Create your own movie instead of spending your whole life watching everyone else's.

Common questions

What does the Bible say about comparing yourself to others?

Second Corinthians 10:12 says people who measure themselves against each other "lack wisdom." Scripture teaches that God assigns each person a unique calling and measure, like the talents in Matthew 25. Comparison rejects God's design for your life, breeds envy, and pulls your focus off the assignment He actually gave you.

Why was Miriam punished with leprosy and not Aaron?

Numbers 12 names Miriam first, which signals she instigated the criticism of Moses. Aaron also held the office of high priest, the one responsible for declaring lepers clean, so judgment on him would have affected the whole priesthood. God disciplined Miriam publicly for seven days, then restored her after Moses prayed.

What does it mean to stay in your lane spiritually?

Staying in your lane means running the specific race God marked out for you instead of chasing someone else's calling. Like a sprinter who gets disqualified for leaving his lane, believers lose focus and joy when they measure their lives against others. Romans 12 says every part of the body matters.

How do I stop comparing my life to others on social media?

Remember that social media shows highlight reels, not real life. Nobody posts their down days. Limit your scrolling, celebrate other people's wins instead of resenting them, and measure yourself against one standard only, who you used to be. Gratitude for your own assignment starves comparison of its power.